I need some sunshine and maybe a really nice drive

within the last twelve short hours,

1) I broke down in middle of a crowded ass cafe.
2) called him 3 times with the quite crappy cafe wifi
3) managed to fix 6 sentences in my grad school essays - not very sure if it made it better or worse
4) been so angry for scattering my own priorities
5) smoked 2 cigarettes  ( I don't smoke )
6) cursed 10 times
7) suppressed the urge to cry 4 times
8) felt lost the entire time.

fuck you relationships, I am very over you right now..
my head hurts.. think it was those cigarettes. damn you, korean cigarettes...

Yes I'm family oriented, love the hell out of children, adore every baby I lay my eyes on, and want to settle and get married to have family of my own.

but I want to succeed in life - go far , be independent and not have to rely on a guy to feel any sense of contentment and security. I never needed that until recently and as much as I love being in love, I despise it for what it takes away from me.

i mean come on, I'm 22.

Most selfish things in a relationship

1) hanging up after you only relay your feelings/ opinions.
2) you.
3) feeling our feelings in general.
4) me.